Three Ways to Heal After a Pregnancy Loss

Feel all the Feels.

Loss. Relief. Regret. Shame. Loneliness. Emptiness. Sadness. These are just a few of the multitude of emotions that come flooding in during the days, weeks, and months after a pregnancy loss. Take time to notice your feelings. It can be helpful to write them down in a journal. Allow yourself the space to grieve and feel and be. As with any loss, there is no one way to heal, which is why it is important to tune in and notice your thoughts and feelings, as they provide insight into our needs. Find a trusted friend who loves you unconditionally and nonjudgmentally, and open up and share your thoughts and feelings as you feel comfortable.

Take some time.

People don’t always know how to handle pregnancy loss and so there isn’t really a guidebook for what to do. After my losses, I found it helpful to take some time away from work and activities to rest (it can be emotionally and physically exhausting). I also found it helpful to scale back on tasks, social engagements, and such. I didn’t isolate myself but I created space for the people and activities that filled my soul. I stepped back from obligatory things that felt overwhelming. I cared for myself and gave myself the grace and ability to say no.

Kindness. Kindness. Kindness.

The woulda, shoulda, couldas will sneak in. The thoughts and feelings of shame and disappointment with yourself and your body will come. However, it isn’t the truth. Your body may have failed you but it deserves your love and forgiveness rather than punishment and negative energy. Find ways to care for yourself and focus on ways your body brings you life. Now is the time for self-care that highlights emotional and physical kindness toward yourself and your body. Walks, spa treatments, long baths, yoga, and breathing exercises are a great place to start.